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American Idol: Results Shocker Take Two!

Grab A Sharpie And 'X' Out The Gals! (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

You got to read my rant about American Idol and what needs to be done to fix it.  Now you get to hear from our Idol expert Steve Thompson.  How did he feel about last night’s SHOCKING result??

From Steve Thompson:

I realize the group Yes is not in the Hall of Fame, but this song has been buzzing around my brain ever since Seacrest uttered the words…   Shock to the system.

Yes.  Here we are again at American Male Idol where all the females are thrown under the bus by malevolent adolescent twerps who vote for cute guys who wouldn’t sell two million CDs if they were given 1.9 million free.  Seriously.

You cannot tell me that America actually voted against Pia simply because the judges gave her the only tidbits of constructive criticism they’ve been able to find over the last few weeks.  Or can you?  America’s pretty thin skinned anymore.  Criticism is now perceived as either racism or any other ism that calls to mind the inciting of the masses to riot.  Frankly, nihilism is starting to look appealing.

By the way…  Before I finish in this bully pulpit, let me state a few observations I jotted down just before the javelin was thrust deep inside my heart.

Pia could make even Joan Jett sound melodic.

Casey sounds in tune!

Sweet Home Alabama! Play that dead band’s song…  (Warren Zevon)

Russell Brand?  I think I’d rather hear his wife.

Casey is safe; Lauren is safe.  Stefano in the bottom three.

Constantine Maroulis– or as I used to refer to him in season 4. Pestilence.

Paul is safe (!); Scotty is safe…

Pia in the bottom three?  What the…

James is safe; Haley is safe; Jacob in the bottom three.

Iggy Pop?  We’re having to depend on rock stars who once appeared on Miami Vice now?

Granted, he co-wrote one of the best songs ever written about heroin addiction (“China Girl”) but– no.

And now we come back to this– this travesty of voting.  Pia Toscano was the last great hope of American idol.  If Pia had won or got to the finals– Idol would actually have someone to pin their hopes on for the future.  As it stands now– barring a minor miracle– a guy will win again.  Excluding the week Casey was saved, five girls in a row have been mown down like a musical version of Scarface.  I, for one, have had it.

There needs to be an intervention in the Idol voting process.  Someone has to make sure this show doesn’t turn into America’s Next Boyfriend.  Someone suggested online (I wish I had written this one, but I did not): If there were twelve guys in the competition, Idol would’ve still found a way to send a woman home first.

Another good line: all the guys were so drunk trying to vote for Pia that they misdialed the number.

Historically, this is not the first shock ever on Idol.  However, this one runs mighty close to when Chris Daughtry suddenly fell out of favor with the voters.  (Ostensibly, the reason for the judge’s save.)

Something needs to be done.  Someone needs to confess they hacked into Idol’s bean counter or something.  I find it hard to believe that computer voting caused dialidol.com to be so wrong for once in the last several years.

Oh look…  A message from Florida:  “We know just how you voters feel.”  Gosh, that was nice, wasn’t it?

Maybe it was the shock, but no one has said what next week’s theme will be.

Depending on how many of you have decided to stay with this show for the rest of the season, we’ll see next Wednesday.

Or…  Watch this space.

@April 7, 2011  Stephen W Thompson

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