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Bubble Guns, Paper Guns, Invisible Hand Grenades…Everybody Calm Down

Photo by Dave Spencer

A little girl gets suspended because of a Hello Kitty Bubble Gun. Another young girl gets in trouble for having a paper gun. And, now a little boy has been suspended for his use of an imaginary hand grenade.


That’s right! No paper! No bubbles! Nothing! Just air!

Clearly, the fact that he was using the imaginary hand grenade to destroy the imaginary forces of evil had no bearing on the elementary school’s decision to lower the boom. It is also clear that the time has come for everyone to count to ten, take a deep breath, and realize what a farce the efforts to protect our children have become.

The powers that be have gone so above and beyond the call of duty that they’ve turned their attempts at security into punch lines. Well, look what you’re reading. It’s all so ludicrous, I can’t help but put a slightly humorous spin on all of this.

But it’s not really funny when you’re scaring children and isolating them for harmless activities. Instead of wasting time confiscating paper, bubbles, and air, maybe you could work with local authorities toward real security measures, toward real practices that will keep the kids safe.

Sadly, the times in which we live dictate that there are certain drills, for example, that have become necessary. While sobering, the recent news Jaclyn shared about how her daughter Carsyn’s school is dealing with unthinkable possibilities wasn’t wholly surprising. In my opinion, there’s no measure too extravagant if it means making sure children are safe.

But we have to be reasonable and behave intelligently. Bubble guns and paper guns aren’t bringing down society anytime soon. And I got a paper cut yesterday that did me more bodily harm than an invisible hand grenade ever will.

Cooler heads prevail. How about we keep that in mind?

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