Chad’s Worst Five Country Songs of 2014 [Video]

I have shared my list of the Top Ten Country Songs of 2014 and now it's time to share my list of the Worst Five.  As much as I love making Top Ten lists, I love making Worst lists too.  It seems these always ruffle some feathers and I have no doubts that some of the songs that made the cut this year will do just that.  Here we go!

#5- Prizefighter- Trisha Yearwood w/ Kelly Clarkson

I actually feel like I am committing blasphemy by putting Trisha Yearwood and Kelly Clarkson on my Worst list.  Everyone knows .  .. I absolutely love both ladies.  And I honestly thought they could do no wrong.  That is until I heard THIS!  WTH?  Okay.  I have said before that "Roar" by Katy Perry is one of the best songs in the history of pop music.  But "Prizefighter" is country music's dollar store version of that song.  It's horrible.  Are you kidding me with these lyrics?? "You're a hammer hittin', spittin' fire, Prizefighter?"  Or "Look at you.  Smiling with a shiner.  Standing higher. Prizefighter?"  Give me a break!  For me, this song is the biggest missed opportunity of the year.  You have two of the biggest (possibly greatest) voices on the planet and they're reduced to singing this crap?  Let's hope the song's prophecy is fulfilled.  Let's hope Trisha and Kelly can "rise from the pain like a hurricane." Whatever the hell that means.

#4- Beachin' by Jake Owen

The only thing worse than hearing Jake Owen talk-rap the verses of this song is watching him use his arms to mimic the rolling tide of the ocean in the video.  Look!  Jake nearly made by Top Ten list with "What We Ain't Got." That song is fantastic and Jake's vocal is dynamic.  This song is about as tragic as a tsunami.

#3-  Sun Daze- Florida Georgia Line

Isn't this about over?  Look.  I realize that expectations can be overwhelming.  And, when your first single, "Cruise," becomes the most successful single in the history of country music, the old adage proves true.  You can't go up, so the only way to go is down.  But did country's dynamic duo have to go all the way down here?  Really?  "All I wanna do today is wear my favorite shades and get stoned?" I thought it was a clever move to invite Nelly along for a "Cruise" remix and release that song to pop radio.  But I am afraid that boys are mistaking his hip-hop audience for their country base.  This is the most polarizing song of the year for country fans.  This is a love it or hate it release.  I'm the latter.

#2- Donkey/Buzz Back Girl- Jerrod Niemann

It's too easy to put Jerrod Niemann's "Donkey" on my Worst list.  That said, it definitely belongs here because it's terrible and an insult to country music, its fans and to farm animals.  So, I am adding Jerrod's last single to the list as well.  I don't think Niemann actually believed "Donkey" was a good song, but I think he believes that "Buzz Back Girl" is.  NOT.  For me, Jerrod Niemann has become the most frustrating artist in country music.  He's had some great songs ("Lover, Lover" and "Drink To That All Night"), but his discography is peppered with duds.  And the fact that he's released "Donkey" and "Buzz Back Girl" back-to-back could be the signal of the end.  I think Jerrod thinks himself as more a novelty act than a true, legitimate country music artist.  He seems to be having an identity crisis and needs to find himself . . . quickly.

#1- This Is How We Roll -  Florida Georgia Line w/ Luke Bryan

Go ahead!  Let me have it.  I know.  I know!  You loved this song.  Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.  Trust me.  I tried.  But it just never worked.  And here's the thing.  For as much as Florida Georgia Line is on every last nerve I have these days, they're actually not the reason the song drove me so crazy.  It was the Luke Bryan part of the song that sent me over the cliff with Thelma and Louise.  It's well documented that Luke Bryan's participation in this song was rather accidental.  He was at the studio while Florida Georgia Line was recording, they invited to him to sing, he did and the rest is history.  But the real result was the WORST set of lyrics of 2014.  "Yeah we're proud to be young, we stick to our guns, we love who we love and we want to have fun. Yeah we cuss on them Mondays, and pray on them Sundays.  Pass it around and we dream about one day."  Excuse me?  What?  I don't understand any of that.  Did you really just sing "we cuss on them Mondays and pray on them Sundays?"  And what are we passing around?  And what are we dreaming about?  I, personally, am dreaming about the day that country music lyrics are smarter than this and the genre's superstars actually care about what they're singing and releasing.  That's what I am praying about on them Sundays.