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Curtis Goes Home

WBKR’s American Idol expert Steve Thompson absolutely nailed it yesterday as to what would happen on the show last night.

In this brave new world of season twelve, we discover that this group of relative unknowns get to cover an Owl City song from the new movie The Croods. What can possibly be greater than that? Oh… You mean a career?

Also in this brave new world, The Powers That Be deign to filter out information from the darkened heart of Uncle Nigel. Like some bizarre sequence from a futuristic political thriller, we are left parcels like “Devin won Puerto Rico” and “Janelle wins Tennessee.” Yes, we’ve been voting since Kelly Clarkson– but now it sounds inspired by a cross between The Hunger Games and The Running Man. Tonight, Ryan plays the part of Richard Dawson.

The first of our top three announced is of Candice Glover. Her vocal was practically perfect (sorry, Miss Poppins) and her status as one of the top three was about as obvious as a suspicious butler in a locked room murder mystery. Still, it’s good to know the American public can vote for someone worthy from time to time.

Our second member of the evening is of Kree Harrison. Faithful readers (what? there are unfaithful readers?) will realize Kree is the one I’ve currently anointed as the Once and Future Idol. Her cover of the Roy Orbison song has caused me to sing Crying all afternoon.

Our final occupant of the top three is Angie Miller. Well done, America! I find no fault in this top three. Here’s hoping she will soon find her way back to the piano as soon as possible.

We interrupt this reveal to go to the race for 11th place. Interestingly, Charlie Askew wound up in sixth place and he sits at the piano singing an original song. Something tells me if Charlie had chosen to do this last week he would have been in the top ten. While he’s no vocal threat to anyone currently in music that I’m aware of, the lyrics remind me of a progressive rock song from the 70s. Maybe Charlie’s place in music is actually as a songwriter. Sky Blue Diamond won’t break any download records on iTunes, but at least it wasn’t a treacly ballad.

Speaking of treacly ballads, Out Here On My Own as sung by Aubrey Cleland was the biggest snoozefest since the last time I tried to watch Smash. To be fair, I rather liked that song when Irene Cara sang it in the original Fame– but that may have been because the girl friend I had way back then used to go around singing the song all the time. (One doubts this show is watched in Heaven. I mean Nicki alone…)

#4 Lazaro found his way to the mantle of most popular male singer. Frankly, to paraphrase Mariah, I think the public is still enchanted by his personal story.

#5 Amber Holcomb had to sing a song that wasn’t performed by Whitney for possibly the first time this season. I’m a bit shocked she was in fifth place– and I’ll wager she’s shocked as well.

#6 Janelle Arthur has found her niche with the voters. Now pick some better songs, girl! I was happy that all the ladies made up 5 of the top 6.

#7 Burnell is actually the best singer left of the guys based on the last few weeks. Thing is, he has no horrid back story getting played to the hilt by the judges or the Idol machine. Say what you will about melodrama, but what propels people to vote for Lazaro because of his speech problem does not propel people to vote for Burnell because of his Katrina survival story. (And as I mentioned yesterday, no one seems to be harping on the hearing problems of Angie, either.)

#8 Paul Jolley would have a higher placement in this competition if he could learn to be confident in his song selection. Granted, Jimmy Iovine tells him to tone down the theatrics and Nicki with Randy talk about him trying to do more instead of less… Conflicting, no? I would pay attention to Jimmy since his career has lasted longer than Nicki has been alive.

#9 Devin Velez needs to never attempt a Carrie Underwood song again. I’m hopeful that he can go back to songs that suit his voice. Devin has been one of the best male singers for most of this season, but up until the last second I was afraid his name would be called instead of…

#10 Curtis Finch Jr. Instant karma got him. Does anyone find it ironic that a man who wants to be a gospel singer finds odd ways to present himself to the American public? He showed his true colors when he tried to get Charlie out of his group in Vegas. He sang a song by a man who once faced 21 counts of having relations with a minor. (Yeah, he was acquitted– but money talk$.) Every story told about him by people who have encountered him have posed him in the worst possible light. Arrogance and insolence seem to go hand in hand. All things being equal, it would please me to think of Charlie Askew being the albatross to remind Curtis throughout the tour of why he didn’t successfully continue in the competition.

 

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