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Dave Spencer’s All “Thumbs” With a Windshield Wiper Blade

Photo by Dave Spencer

It’s funny when you tell people you cut your thumb pretty badly with a windshield wiper blade. Because their first thought is, “Well, they aren’t THAT sharp are they?” Yeah, you should see my windshield. No, just kidding. You should have seen my thumb! Yesterday, while purchasing a window regulator at Auto Zone, I decided to go ahead and get long overdue windshield wipers. Mine were fluttering something awful, and that’s incredibly annoying. Now the good folks at the Zone will put these on for you, but I’ve done it before so I didn’t ask ‘em. Well, for the sake of my right thumb, I guess I should have. When I dropped off my nephew, I got out of the car to change them out while I still had enough light. And I guess because I was racing sundown, I was going too fast. I was shoving the old wiper off the bracket. And I put my thumb in the absolute wrong place. When the wiper dislodged, it rammed right into my thumb, which started bleeding profusely. I immediately ran it under cold water for a while. After drying it off, I applied anti-biotic ointment and a Band-Aid. And today it’s doing fine. I thought I’d really messed it up yesterday. But we’re good to go. Next week, I plan to show you a video of me putting on the other wiper. Yes, that’s right, I only did one–the noisiest one. Quitting while I was ahead–AND while I still had at least one good thumb–seemed like a good idea at the time.

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