They say (who are “they” anyway?) “if you don’t like the weather, stick around a spell, it’ll change”, and nowhere is that more true than in the Tri-State of Indiana, Kentucky and Illinois.

Our little triangle of the Ohio Valley can go from “who left the freezer door open” 40-degrees in the morning, to “hotter than hell” 90-degrees by late afternoon.  And did I mention we’re talking about the middle of fall when this happens!?!?!?  OMGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

But let’s take our tri-state seasons one by one, shall we?  Ok, let’s do it to it!

Oh wait, I forgot (how thoughtless of me) FIRST we have to note that the tri-state rarely has seasons!  No. Joke.  Ask anyone that lives here and they’ll tell you.  The calendar may say there are 4 seasons, but here, there are 3.

Freezin’     *        Hot as Hades      Coolin’ off

*Note the lack of Spring.  This is not a typo.

1)      Winter:

Old Man Winter usually (I say this because this year I can’t even remember it snowing) dumps all his New York Blizzard leftovers on the tri-state.  Walk outside on any given day between November 1, and February 28, and it feels like you’ve been relocated into a deep freeze.  It’s normal for temperatures to dip down as low as -10 overnight in December and January, and hover around in the teens and twenties during the day.  And this goes on until the beginning of March!  Trust me, it’s cold.  Really cold.  Ok, maybe it’s not as cold to someone from Canada but we’re freezing our ying-yangs off!



Winter also brings his chilly pal Ice with him.  We all hate Ice.  Ice is not our friend.  Ice is the friend of our children though, who beg him to show up at least once or twice so they call off school.  Of course, our children only think this until Ice snaps a tree limb onto the power lines cutting off their connection to this week’s episode of “Let’s See Which Teenager Can Get Knocked Up the Fastest and Sing About It”.  About an hour into that and even adults are ready to crawl out from under their warm cover-dens and steal a generator to plug in every hair dryer they can find to melt a pathway for the power trucks to get these kids back to school.

2)      Spring:


Quite possibly the shortest season in the, oops!  It’s over already.  Spring in the tri-state lasts (normally, reference the Old Man Winter caveat before) about 3-5 weeks.  From the end of February to the first few weeks of April, we’ll have lows in the mid-30’s with highs between 40 and 70.  And that’s all you get of Spring.  And then it rains.  And it rains.  And it rains.  And it floods.  And it dries up.  And it rains.  And it, you get the picture.



3)      Summer:

Photo of my car’s digital temp show 108* last summer. Yeah, it gets that HOT here (Annie Jenkins)

Jeeeez, I don’t even want to think about Summer in the tri-state.  Summer around here involves lots of humidity and boiling heat.  It usually (again, referencing the “normal” from #1) gets started in mid-April.  We’ll go from a pleasant high of 76 on Tuesday, to a boiling 90 the next day.  One week later, it’s 94 and the heat index is 100.  No. Joke.

And we haven’t even started to add in the humidity yet.

Sometime between the end of June and the first or second week of July, Mother Nature will cross-pollinate (it’s the only theory I can come up with) our territory with heat from the flames of hell and all the moisture left over from a tropical monsoon!  Seriously, it’s like walking into a steam bath when you step outside.  And it’ll stay this way (with very few exceptions) until the end of September.

Awww, come on!  It’s not that bad.

Wanna bet?  It’s so bad that I, and many people who have wavy, curly, very full, heads of hair, simply give up on a “hairstyle” until October.  No. Joke.  Its, “just throw yo’ “do” up in a ponytail or a french twist on-top-o’-yo’-head- sista-cause-you-just-wasted-yo’-time-gettin’-all-gussied-up”, kind of miserable, rotten, awful, baaaaaad.

I seriously do not know why they bother selling hairspray in the tri-state in the summer.  The heat’s just gonna hit it and blammo, instant hair gel.  Wait, that may be their whole point.

4)     Fall:

And then we come to Fall.  Or as I like to call it, “not as hot as summer”.  The first weeks of October are traditionally (Hey!  No usually!  BONUS!) kinda toasty in the tri-state.  You’ll have lows in the 50’s overnight and highs in the 70-80’s during the afternoon.  This is also when we hold our annual West Side Nut Club Fall Festival.  The first year I went (1981) I wore a thick sweater, long jeans and boots each night.  Last year, I got a sunburn.  Yeah, it’s a bit “warm” here in the tri-state all the way up until Halloween.


So there you have it!  The whacky weather of the tri-state!  All four (3-1/2 really) seasons of it!