It's time again for millions of women, and let's face it, men too, to gather around the TV on Monday night with wine, snacks and a desperate longing for drama, tears and awkward two on one dates. Yep, The Bachelorette is back! I'll be honest, I typically watch the first night, skip out on the middle non-sense and pick back up again at hometown dates, but this season, I'm committing myself to the show like Jordan committed himself to those skinny jeans in his intro video.

So, let's get to it... here are my thoughts on Week One:

Jojo should be able to "swipe left" during the contestant introductions. Seriously, where do they get some of these guys from? Why even have 25 or however many contestants on the show if over half of them she wouldn't give a second look to walking down the street. She should have a buzzer, or a gong to eliminate as it goes. That would be awesome. Dude in the kilt would have lasted two, maybe three seconds tops.

How long does the first night cocktail party last? When they arrived, it was dark outside. When they interviewed the ousted contestants it was light outside. Y'all, the sun had come up! How long were they in there? What were they doing? How did her hair and make-up still look that good after that long? No wonder so many of them got drunk. Put me in a beautiful home with one dude, 24 chicks and free liquor for 10 hours with minimal snacks, I'd probably be in the pool in my Victoria's Secrets, too!

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Jordan needs some competition. Seriously, ABC is either blatantly letting us know he is the winner or wants to blindside us later on in the season. My bestie and I were watching the show eating leftover baby shower cake and drinking wine and desperately trying to pick another guy that could "beat" him... in looks, great hair, being a normal guy, in life. And, I'm not buying the season preview that tries to pin him as the guy being there "for the wrong reasons". I mean maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure he's never been too far from attention on his own... SEC quarterback, tall and handsome, yeah, he's not strugglin. Now, is his totally full of BS? Probably, but we'll find that out eventually. ABC, you should have hidden him as much as you can for the first few episodes, we're on to you. There's another guy that I am rooting for, but I had to look him up on the website to remind me what his name was. It's Derek, by the way. Speaking of...

I had no idea Jim and Pam from The Office broke up! Ha! Really thou, doesn't Derek look like John Krasinski?!? He's my sleeper this season. I have high hopes for him. He's absolutely adorable and if Jojo doesn't want him, she can send him to Owensboro.  I'm gonna need to remember his name, ha!

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How do mentally-unstable people still make it on the show? You know when you drop a 2-liter, it bounces down a flight of stairs then rolls around on the floor and you know at any time it could just blow? Well, that's how we all felt watching Chad. The previews are terrifying. Seriously, he looks beyond unstable. Yes, he's extremely attractive, but I'm having a hard time believing the casting folks didn't know he could potentially act like this. Punching doors, threatening other contestants, no ratings are worth that risk.

My potential picks are:

Jordan and Derek mentioned earlier

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And, he's totally right. I've seen Jordan, at Loser's, and there was more competition there than on the show, at least from what I'm seeing so far.

Until next week, friends!

 

 

 

 

 

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