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The Bottom Five: Dave Spencer’s Least Favorite Songs of 2013 [VIDEO]

Fear not. Even though, these songs are five least favorites of 2013, it simply means I didn’t like them. At all. It does not mean they are going anywhere. Sigh. Two of them were hugely popular hits. And I’m glad we played songs you liked. It’s just that I didn’t. Here we go:

5. “THAT’S MY KIND OF NIGHT” LUKE BRYAN

I miss THAT Luke Bryan. You know, “All My Friends Say,” “Country Man.” THAT Luke Bryan. I feel he’ll be back. And I hope he doesn’t bring with him another song that flirts with a “winner, winner catfish dinner” lyric or borrows a melody from Lady GaGa. But, hey, Luke’s follow-up to this one was complete redemption, so it all worked out in the end.

 

 

4. “THE MONA LISA” BRAD PAISLEY

At some point, Brad began to rely to heavily on “the gimmick.” Sometimes it works–”I’m Still a Guy.” Sometimes, yikes, it does not–”The Mona Lisa.” This latecomer to 2013 might just be the rock bottom regarding that go-to concept. All that yelling. That contrived lyric. Man. Best part is, there’s nowhere to go but up.

 

 

3. “SHE CRANKS MY TRACTOR” DUSTIN LYNCH

Dustin won a lot of good will with the tremendous “Cowboys and Angels” then the Broken Bow Records A&R Department shot Dustin in the foot, or, should I say, ran over his foot with a tractor, when they released this instantly forgettable and unnecessary ditty. Hey, we’re good on tractor songs. We don’t need this misguided attempt to showcase Dustin’s “versatility.” There are many better ways to do that.

 

 

2. “1994″ JASON ALDEAN

I get it, Jason. You like rap. Crank up your mp3 player of choice, slap on the earbuds, and jam away.

This is just awful on so many fronts.

 

 

1. “MINE WOULD BE YOU” BLAKE SHELTON

For years, I’ve hoped against hope that country music superstars would take advantage of their status and try things lesser artists couldn’t get away with. I mean, really dig deep and find the BEST songs out there if they’re not going to write them themselves. Don’t settle into a comfort zone because it’s the easy thing to do. Break some molds.

Blake has an ENORMOUS fan base. He should be exposing that fan base to far more interesting music than something like this throwaway love ballad.

Here’s the thing with “Mine Would Be You”: the phrase “hands-down, best-ever make-up sex” is the dealbreaker of all dealbreakers. Aside from the fact that it’s wildly inappropriate for certain types of folks who might be in the car listening to the radio with you, it’s just one of the worst, most awkward lines ever set to music. I cannot listen to the song because of it.

 

 

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