This Is What Happens When You Get Sick Of Hearing About Yourself

Maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe it's because I've been in a mood for the last two weeks, maybe it's because I reach a certain point and even I can't handle the nonsense anymore, but it's time for a come to Jesus talk. A talk about gossiping.

As someone who is in the public eye, I've grown accustom to people talking about me. I guess that's part of the deal when you're in the spotlight at all. For some reason, people think it's ok to say whatever they want about a public figure. I couldn't disagree more, but that's not really the point right now. That's actually the biggest disadvantage of my job. The term alone makes me uncomfortable, but the "local celebrity" aspect is a bit embarrassing for me. Now, I beyond love that we are one big radio family and that our listeners know how much we love meeting you and appreciate you for allowing us into your lives. I also love how you love us. You really do take us into your family as one of your own and I wouldn't change that for anything. But, being a local-celebrity?? I'm just a small town radio DJ, I'm really not that special. And, there are aspects of that status that aren't very fun. For some reason, certain people are oddly fascinated by what I do, when I do it and with whom I'm with. Even if none of what they think is true and couldn't be farther from it.

I don't go out a lot in town. Nothing against Owensboro, I love it here, but it typically ends in some story about me being a train-wreck, doing something completely wild and something completely fabricated. I've heard that I could barely stand up in a bar when I was actually the designated driver. I've heard that I'm dating so and so and we did this and that. 99% of the time, to be honest, I just don't care. But, every now and then, it gets to be too much and I have a slight come-apart. Today, I reached my limit.

One of my work girls and I were talking this morning about how much fun we had over the weekend at a party for a co-worker. She was telling me how her husband basically went off on the drive home talking about how he had recently defended me to one of his friends. This said friend was asking him about me, telling him all the things he's heard about me. "I heard she was real easy."

Let's just say that my friend's husband didn't take too kindly to that and put him in his place very quickly. That's actually pretty tame compared to other things that I've heard people say about me. "Ugh, that Jaclyn from the radio is such a slut. You know she's a big whore, right? I've heard she's always out drunk, hooking up with anyone she can." My reluctant friends tell me these things and to be honest, I have a lot of strangers just come right up and start a conversation with me about the things they've heard. I would tell you more, but my Mother is probably reading this and she's already ticked off. These are just a few of the things that people say. People that have never met me. People who have no clue about me or my life. People that continue to spread lies and to be honest, really don't care the harm that they're doing.

I'm sharing this with you because I know I'm not the only one. You would think that once you graduate from high school, this childlike behavior would end, but sadly enough, I think it gets worse. And, is there really anything worse than a bunch of adults running their mouths about people they don't really know and spreading false rumors?!? No, there's not and to be honest, it's pretty sad.

But, I am here talking to you about this and how much it really makes my blood boil, so let me share with you some thoughts I have when I hear mindless chatter. I have a feeling you can relate...

Why you so obsessed with me? Really? My life doesn't concern you. You don't know me, because if you did, you would know that I'm not what some say. But, I'd hate for you to only say things about another person that you knew for a fact were 100% true. Or, crazy thought here, you could just not gossip!

What if I were those things? Let's say that I am what you say. What about it? I guess I'm just confused how that would be any of your business. IF I did chose to act like that, guess what? I'm a grown woman and can pretty much do whatever I want. Speaking of being a woman...

How would what you say about me be different if I were a man? Ahh... yep, it's double-standard time. Let's say I was a dude and actually doing the things you said I was doing, I'd be willing to bet my mortgage that you would be giving me a high-five instead of cutting me down. A guy could sleep with 100 women, he's a god. A girl could sleep with 3 guys and she's a slut. I've never understood how two human beings can do the same thing, yet one is praised and the other criticized.

Do you think you aren't doing any harm? I am one tough cookie. I can take a lot of crap without it bothering me. I'm used to it by now. But, every now and then, it gets too much and to be honest, it hurts. Sure, I know I'm not a slut, I know I'm not easy, and the people that I care the most about know that I'm not that either. But, hearing such hateful things eats away at you after a while. It still makes me question who I am sometimes. But, just so you know, I only feel sad for close to a nanosecond before realizing you don't define me, I define myself and I get over it.

But, what about those who don't have my backbone? What about those who spend hours crying over something that you said? Does that make you feel better about who you are? Are you happy with yourself that you have actually hurt someone?

See, here's where my favorite part of being a "local celebrity" comes into play... I have a voice. And a pretty powerful one at that. I realize that I have the honor of being able to speak for so many people and please know that I don't take lightly to that. So, to those of you who find yourself on the painful end of gossip, know this... They don't control you. You are the only person who decides who you are. I know it hurts. I know that there are times when it really does feel better to cry it out. But, you let those tears fall, then you pick yourself up, put those shoulders back and carry on. Because, you know who you are and what you stand for.

I know who I am and more importantly, I know who I'm not. And, even thou I make mistakes and there are things in my past, like everyone else, that I'm not proud of, nothing that you say or pass along to the next willing listener will ever define who I am or what I consist of.

What you say about someone else, what you say about me, doesn't say anything about the type of person I am, but it sure does say a lot about the type person you are.