What Are the Top Ten Five-Finger Discount Items?

It's kind of funny. The other day, my nephew told me he wanted a CD by Five Finger Death Punch for Christmas. A few days later I Googled the band, except I had forgotten some of their name. So I Googled "Five Finger Discount." I got nothin'. After calling him and straightening it out and learning that the band is one of those aggressive heavy metal outfits that sound like growling animals, I was intrigued by what I discovered after my incorrect search: The Top Ten Most Shoplifted Items of the Holiday Season. First of all, where is security. At first glance, and based solely on the item's generic term, some of these things seem like they'd be very difficult to move through the store and out the front door. But upon closer inspection, most, if not all, of these items can easily be shoved into oversized coats or pants pockets. But I would honestly think that a bottle of booze would look like a bottle of booze if some idiot were to try to lift it. Yet, there it is at #2 on the list--Jameson Irish Whiskey. I mean, come on, how big DO they make pockets? And what about the filet mignon. That's obviously frozen. Wouldn't somebody trying to steal that look awfully suspicious doing the I-have-a-large-frozen-steak-in-my-Dockers jig while traipsing through the supermarket?  And I was actually surprised that only one toy--Let's Rock Elmo--made the list based on how psychotic people get about such things on Black Friday. But, really, what this list says to me is that retail stores need to seriously beef up their security OR they've stopped caring. Good Lord, I walked out the door of Wal-Mart one time and the alarm went bananas because there was something wrong with a bar code on a pack of gum that was PAID FOR. These other places need to follow that retail giant's lead and put the hammer down. I mean, there are NO excuses for stealing...especially Irish whiskey. Blech!