My Mom Told Me a Huge Secret Before She Died and I Love It

First of all, I want to address the headline. Yes, Mom shared a big secret before she died--I mean, the alternative is impossible--but not RIGHT before she died. I don't know if that's an important distinction, but I didn't want it to sound like she was making some sort of deathbed confession.

In fact, what she shared is perhaps the coolest thing she ever told me and my sister, and that's saying something. Mom passed away in 2021 at the age of 87. Today would have been her 91st birthday. And her amazing revelation was one she kept from her mother, my dad, and her older sister. Since all four are gone now, I can't resist. (And she wouldn't care, anyway.)

When Mom was in nursing school at the University of Louisville--it was called Kentucky Baptist Hospital--she made some extra money by doing the UNTHINKABLE. Well, to my grandmother and my aunt, it would have been. She got a job as a lounge singer at a low-key joint a couple of blocks away from her dormitory. Unfortunately, it is not longer there.

(The image above was taken in black & white by my grandmother, who was a professional photographer in the 1950s. She then painted the photo. This would have been about three years after Mom's gig.)

When she told my sister and I, "the coolest thing I've ever heard you say" was the first thing out of my mouth. And, trust me, she was right in not telling her mom and her sister. I'm not sure my dad would have minded as the years passed, but he didn't know, just the same.

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Anyway, there she was, this student in her early 20s surrounded by a bunch of people there to have a few drinks and take the edge off. When I asked her about what she wore, she said the proprietor gave her some money so she could buy some appropriate attire for a performer.

Mom also made sure to confirm to us that every male patron was the perfect gentleman. They would even give her a ride back to her dorm when the place closed. Always polite.

In her later years, I would take Mom for drives around town to see old haunts--her homes, schools, churches--and we'd listen to the kinds of old standards that were popular when she was performing. It didn't occur to me that some she used to sing would come on, and they did. Here's one I wasn't sure I'd find:

Mom was an alto, so Rosemary Clooney was a natural go-to. Peggy Lee was another one. Also, "You'll Never Know" is horn-heavy; there were no horns accompanying Mom. Just a piano. Classic.

I still listen to old standards from time to time and wonder if any of them were part of any of her sets. Yes, I stick to altos or Frank Sinatra. She was a big Sinatra fan.

Happy birthday, Mom.