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As a Category, “Christmas Shopping” Creates Uncommon Bonds

Photo by Dave Spencer

Now, before you start to wonder why I’m enabling loved ones on my Christmas shopping list to discover what they are getting from me, let me explain: they’ve been forbidden to look at this website until December 25th. But, yes, I am revealing a gift list with this post…and it makes for a unique gathering of items. We seem to live in a world of categories: Top Ten Christmas Songs, Top Five Movies at the Box Office. But those list items have something in common. Dave Spencer’s Christmas Shopping List is quite another story. I can’t think of another instance where these four things would ever be together in ANY context. But here they are:

FLANNEL PAJAMAS
Photo by Dave Spencer

I have never in my lifetime bought clothing for anyone for any occasion. I’ve always considered it a little too risky, what with sizes being uncertain and all. But my mom wants flannel pajamas. And, I’m the only who hasn’t already purchased a gift for her. She’s usually very easy to buy for, but this year, I was at a loss. And, then I heard about the pajamas through the grapevine, so I’m going with that. Again, it’s clothing. And it makes me nervous. Say a prayer.

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH
Prospect Park Records

WHAT?!? Yes, I heard correctly when my nephew said he wanted a CD by this band for Christmas. I actually thought, at first, that he said Five Finger Discount. Anyway, I listened to a little of their music. They scream. Seriously, they…just…scream. And, of course that makes me sound old. I remember when my parents thought Def Leppard just screamed. They don’t. Five Finger Discount…er, Death Punch does. Merry Christmas!

AN OBSCURE COUNTRY MIX DISC
www.apple.com/itunes

So, okay, this actually IS akin to another item on the list. But the music involved couldn’t be more wildly different. I was doing some cleaning about a month ago, and came upon this yellowed piece of paper that contained a list of old country songs–most of which were very obscure. It was a “wish list” of my sister’s from back in the 80s. And, as it turns out, I have been able to find all the songs on Itunes. Now, I just have to hope she STILL likes these songs…because they’re what she’s gettin’.

URGENT CARE
springsurgentcare.com

This is my favorite, I think. My youngest nephew, who is a little weird–just like the rest of us, has asked that we all go in together and purchase, for him, a trip to an urgent care facility. He’s a cash-strapped college student and wants to get rid of a non-life-threatening rash on his neck. I don’t think there’s anything I could add. At least we’ll save on gift-wrapping.

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