No Quakin’ In Los Angeles!
American Idol has been to L.A. before for auditions and the city has historically given us some pretty impressive talent. Season 5 runner-up Katherine McPhee audition in Los Angeles as did Season 8 runner-up Adam Lambert. So, hopes were high when Idol Season 10 rolled into L.A. Were there any contestants causing the Earth of quake? WBKR Idol expert Steve Thompson reviews last night's episode.
On February 3, 1959, a plane crash cost the lives of Richie Valens, JP "The Big Bopper" Richardson, and Buddy Holly. Fifty-two years later, we get what appears to be two more days the music died.
Really. Many have wondered where all the hack singers and borderline psychopaths have been over the last few weeks of auditions-- I guess they all went to Los Angeles. I've watched this show for ten years and I think this episode may have cured me of ever watching a flameout audition ever again. I pity the fools who decided to watch this show for the first time tonight-- many of whom should have turned over to "Wipeout" by the thirty minute mark.
How do I really feel? Let's round up the usual suspects...
Victoria Garrett is pretty high on herself. Then again, she may just be pretty high. She says: "God brought Idol to L.A. just for her..." Once again, I've watched this show for ten years. I'm pretty sure God is not pulling the strings to make sure someone who is trying to sing a quasi-gospel song one minute and then curses toward the camera when she doesn't get her way an audition. Favorite line of the night from Steven Tyler: "You're going to Siberia!"
Daniel Gomez and Isaac Rodriguez are best friends who have a lot in common. They both want fame and fortune from Idol and neither one can sing. They should form a group called Tone Def Jam. It's hard to believe that both guys are so unable to hear the mistakes in the other. The train moved faster in Owensboro this afternoon than did their musical segment. It's enough to wonder if there's a Hispanic verion of the anti-defamation league.
Tanisha Roches apparently thinks she's God's gift to Idol. (Once again, I don't think we should blame God for this one, either.) She says she has met many artistes, has recorded material for three CDs, and is ready to be composed. Oddly enough, she can't sing worth a lick! She sings a version of " My Way" that would cause Paul Anka to completely disassociate himself from the song.
Not only that... She fails to heed the need to stop singing, acts like a crazy person that has escaped from a psychiatric holding cell, and-- chases Randy Jackson as if he was Justin Bieber.
Matt Frankel claims to be a music impressario and he refers to himself as "Big Stats." Frankly, Joaquin Phoenix would have been more convincing as someone trying to audition for Idol. I don't even understand why they had to show this episode-- unless someone actually sneaks through to the top 40 from L.A.
Our last poor excuse for an audition is Cooper Robinson. I guess they were going for something like "Pants on the Ground" from last year-- it's just that this guy was more like someone who had escaped from an assisted living facility and had stopped taking his meds. He gave bad a bad name.
There were a few who received golden tickets, but you couldn't make me say who really deserved a shot in Hollywood even at the point of a gun. All seemed to have their faults.
The girl named Heidi who sang "Superwoman" but seemed to have wandered over from a pole dancing competition from the Spice Channel? No. I don't believe she earned a shot at singing. Talk amongst yourselves if you've figured out what she actually earned.
Karen Rodriguez singing "You Give Good Love" by the late er... by Whitney Houston? I think we've already heard better singers in the audition rounds.
Tim Halperin singing "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5? Aside from the goo goo eyes he was making at the married Jennifer Lopez, I didn't think he was anything to write home about.
My favorites of the evening were Mark & Aaron Guiterrez who sang a nice version of "Lean on Me." Problem. Can they sing without the other? We'll see, I suppose.
Maybe things are better next week when we see the San Francisco auditions as well as the first part of the Hollywood round. After tonight, we had no place to go but up.
@February 3, 2011 Stephen W Thompson