What If Scientists ‘De-Extincted’ These Ancient Kentucky Creatures?

We are living in an AI world, so when I first started seeing images of the once-extinct dire wolf, I thought some clever soul had created one for our entertainment. Turns out, as we all now know, that I was wrong.

The Dire Wolf

News that a species of wolf known as the dire wolf had been brought back from extinction after being gone for more than 10,000 years has spread like wildfire over the last couple of days. Although they are impressed, some scientists have been quick to point out that the three dire wolf pups are not really an example of "de-extinction," saying that they can't be clones because the DNA found in millennia-old fossils wasn't well-preserved enough. It certainly makes sense, but it's also fun to have these creatures among us.

It's also fun to imagine OTHER extinct species rejoining the animal kingdom. With that in mind, I say, "What about these three?" They roamed the Commonwealth of Kentucky untold centuries ago (lots of centuries), and would make for a startling surprise if one were to run into them again.

The Giant Ground Sloth

The largest animal you could encounter in Kentucky is the black bear which can reach weights of up to 480 pounds. That would pale in comparison to a 20-foot tall, 2000-pound sloth that roamed the Bluegrass State in prehistoric times. Also, it doesn't look as friendly as his smaller, modern counterparts.

You can see a fossil from a giant ground sloth at Big Bone Lick State Park.

The Short-Faced Bear

I'm not even sure its FACE was short. In fact, seeing that the short-faced bear, which wandered the Kentucky countryside millions of years ago, is so much larger than a grizzly bear, I'm now wondering what if ANYTHING is small on this magnificent creature.

The Giant Beaver

The farther I go, the more I realize that I would just as soon scientists leave some of this ancient DNA alone. Everything was so BIG back in all those -ocene eras. A giant BEAVER? With THOSE teeth? Sure, they're herbivores, but still. They could be as big as a black bear...and with those teeth. Yeah, I'm obsessing about the teeth, but surely anyone else who has looked into this extinct species has felt the same way.

Alright, all you white-coats, those dire wolf puppies are awesome, and it's a very cool thing you've done here. But I'm not liking that everything millions of years ago was the size of a football stadium. Please be judicious on your next go-round.