Sebastian Bach, Licked Spumoni, and Other Spaghetti Factory Confessions

When I was in college at the University of Louisville, I worked downtown at The Old Spaghetti Factory.  I have endless fond memories of working there. First of all, I made some life-long friends that I still stay in touch with today.  In fact, one of them is my dear friend Shannon Potts McDonald, who joined our radio show to celebrate National Waitstaff Day.

Shannon and I agree that our experiences with our coworkers should serve as a cautionary tale for anyone who thinks they can walk into a restaurant and be a complete jerkwad. Here are a couple of examples for you curated specially by Shannon and me. They've been whipped up like a Famous Baked Lasagna or a Manager's Favorite. Think of us the Geoffrey Chaucers of the food service industry.

One of our friends/coworkers- to get revenge on Shannon's behalf- once licked the top of four scoops of Spumoni ice cream that Shannon was serving to some women who were being insufferable 'Karens' before being an insufferable 'Karen' was even a thing. Another coworker laced a customer's Spumoni with Tabasco sauce. I also remember a coworker making salads with his bare hands because his table was so disrespectful when he took their order. I personally stabbed a loaf of bread in front of the man who demanded that I bring it to him "RIGHT NOW!" I literally wielded the knife like I was Michael Myers and he was my Jamie Lee Curtis. I looked like 'Dexter' going deep.

Now, it's important to note that I don't endorse this behavior (even my own), but as the ladies sing in Chicago's "Cell Block Tango", "They had it comin'!"

Shannon and I also reminisced about the various celebrities we waited on at 'Spag.' That's what we called it. Even though we were both incredibly bright college students pursuing degrees in academia, we were too friggin' lazy to call the restaurant by its birth name. Still am. So, here's who we waited on at Spag!

We distinctly remember visits from the following celebrities:

YANNI

Is it sad that I remember he ate in Section 10 of the restaurant? I'm either a spaghetti savant or I am scarred by my experiences at that restaurant with his long, luxurious locks.

WYNONNA

Prayers for Wynonna. I will never forget the day she came in.  She asked the hostess to sit her somewhere inconspicuous. However, the young lady working the hostess stand had ZERO clue who she was.  So, she sat Wynonna- a flippin'Judd- and her entourage in Section 3- at the biggest table in the middle of the most open-concept part of the restaurant. When her fellow guests realized they were eating at the same restaurant Wynonna was, they lost their minds. I will give it to her though. Wynonna was incredibly gracious and handed out a ton of free swag. Now that I think about it, I wonder where my hat is.

MARIE OSMOND

She was in Louisville doing a show. Maybe The Sound of Music?? I remember that she sat in the window of Section 1. I remember thinking that if anyone got stopped at the light at the intersection and glanced over to their left, our restaurant was going to look like an aquarium for Osmonds.

MARTHA LAYNE COLLINS

A Kentucky legend! I remember her being incredibly kind and grateful. I am 98% sure no one licked her spumoni.

GERI JEWELL (from The Facts of Life)

I had the pleasure of waiting on Geri Jewell. She was the best! I immediately recognized her from The Facts of Life and, after I looked at her and said "I'm your cousin, Blair," we bonded quickly. In fact, I remember having a conversation with her about how the interior of The Old Spaghetti Factory closely resembled a house of ill-repute. Okay, I'll confess it. I said, "Whorehouse." She laughed and agreed.

SEBASTIAN BACH

Shannon's memory of Sebastian Bach is a scream. She recalls, "He had a chain that ran between his nose ring and his earring." She asked him, "What happens if someone pulls that chain?"

Sebastian's response was swift and rather alarmingly violent. LOL!  He said, "It triggers an automatic response from my fist." Oh, well, okay, Sebastian. Here's your Spaghetti with Meat Sauce. Let's try to relax that fist so you can hold your fork. Okay, Muffin?

Shannon and I agree that, after all these years, she and I are the center of some strange Old Spaghetti Factory 'upside down.' We stay connected (or try to) to a bunch of people we worked with there. In fact, we recently tried to coordinate a Spag reunion. After combing the internet and hunting down coworkers like cyberstalkers, we sent out about two dozen invitations and met up at the intersection of 3rd and Market.

We were the only two who showed up! But, our friend Tony, who has worked there since she and I left (over 30 years and counting) was there and we got to catch up with him!

Tony is an Old Spaghetti Factory legend. Honestly, I can't imagine that place without him. He is the Spag G.O.A.T.

We had a blast reminiscing and eating some Mizithra Cheese. Speaking of which . . .

A huge perk of working at The Old Spaghetti Factory, and this was extremely important to those of us who were working our way through college, was that we got to eat FREE before our shifts started. I can't even tell you how many plates of Spaghetti with Marinara, salads with the Spaghetti Factory's homemade Italian dressing, loaves of bread with garlic butter and scoops of Spumoni ice cream I shoveled into my mouth over the few years I worked there.

One of my absolute favorite 'Spag' dishes was one I had never heard of until I started working at The Old Spaghetti Factory. They created a dish called Spaghetti with Mizithra Cheese and Brown Butter.  And, yep, that's pretty much what it was.  Pasta, cheese, butter.  I remember thinking, "What in the heck is Mizithra Cheese?"

It didn't take long to figure it out because that dish is an integral part of The Old Spaghetti Factory's restaurant heritage.  Do you know how many customers I-during my time there- heard mangle that word? Do you know how many people ignore the fact that there is a "z" in that word?  Does that word look like "mithra" to you?

I'll leave you with this memory. Within three weeks of graduating from U of L,I moved to San Diego, California. Luckily, there was an Old Spaghetti Factory there and I was able to transfer. So, I had a job as soon as I showed up. Even though I had worked at the Spag in Louisville for about three years, I still had to 'train' for a day in San Diego. I walked upstairs with Dan, who was my 'trainer' for the evening. I asked a young woman at the table what she wanted. She looked at me and said, "Mithra Cheese."

I stared at her like she had just sharted out a fettuccine at the table. She then asked, "Is that how you pronounce it?"

Without moving a single expressive muscle in my face, I simply looked at her, milked an exhilaratingly dramatic pause and said, "No." Her entire table and Trainer Dan laughed out loud.

Thoughts and prayers for the 'z' in 'Mizithra.' It's truly the Jan Brady of the alphabet and The Old Spaghetti Factory.