The Ugly Truth About Hair Nets: No One Looks Good in Them

Yesterday, I had to have my very first colonoscopy. It went well, by the way. I don't have to go back for another ten years. Clearly, I am grateful for that. I'm grateful primarily because my colon was crystal clear of issues. I'm also grateful that it will be another ten years before I have to put a hair net on my head.

As soon as the nurse at the Riverview Surgery Center in Rockport, Indiana, plopped that hair net on me, I thought, "Oh no!" First of all, I don't look good in hats period. But NO ONE looks good in a hair net.

In fact, this is precisely what anyone in a hair net looks like.

This wasn't my first time wearing a hair net either, so I was prepared for just how ridiculous I was going to look.  In July of 2019, I had to have kidney stone surgery at Ohio County Healthcare. And, wouldn't you know it, they slapped a hair net on me then too. And I looked absolutely ridiculous.

For the record, I was the one who decided to position that hair net over to the left like it was a beret. I thought it would add some flair and help. It didn't. I just looked ridiculous in French.

Thankfully, it's not just me. Like I said above. EVERYONE looks bad in a hair net.

Need further proof?  Let's take Ryan Reynolds and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, for example. Here are two of the most attractive men in Hollywood. Don't believe me? Allow me to present Exhibit A and Exhibit B.

First, Ryan Reynolds!

Next, I present Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

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Now, I think we can all agree these are reasonably (if not unreasonably) good looking men. But not in hair nets!!

I rest my case, Jury. Hair nets don't look good on ANYONE! So, why isn't some fashion designer in New York City or Paris or Milan trying to figure out how to make these things more attractive?

Back in 2019, I did find a suitable (though not perfect) alternative. When one of my surgeons walked into my room for a pre-surgery consult, I noticed that he wasn't wearing a hair net. He had a different hat on that looked mildly more appealing. So, hilariously, I demanded one and my wish was granted.

This certainly wasn't a huge step up, but at least it wasn't a @$%$&%$ hair net.