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Dave’s Dog Gets ‘Drunk’ on Butter Rum Life Savers

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I have not had a dog since I was 13, but had four of them up until then. One of the four was Corky, a mix of something, something, and something else–in other words, my favorite breed, a mutt.

Corky was the first dog we had that belonged to EVERYONE. By that I mean, we’d had a dog that was partial to my sister. And we had a dog that was partial to my mom. (So was our spider monkey, Joe, but that’s a story for another day.).

But Corky was a real family dog. And not very big at all. He was obedient and liked to play all the time. And he would eat just about anything that wasn’t fruit.

And, one day, that included Butter Rum Life Savers.

Not that anyone in my family had anything against Life Savers, they just weren’t around except right after Christmas when my sister and I would invariably get those “books” of Life Saver rolls in our stockings. Each book had four rolls and, for whatever reasons, Butter Rum was one of the flavors. Not exactly a kid’s flavor.

Anyway, a week after Christmas, my parents threw their big annual New Year’s Eve party at the house. They’d have a blue million people over and I can’t remember now where in the world everyone stood or sat, but there they were, nonetheless.

Mom would have snacks set out all over the place and then later we’d have the Big Breakfast. I never saw that much scrambled eggs in all my life.

One year, I left one of those rolls of Butter Rum Life Savers on an old antique buffet cupboard. And I had left it open. Aaaand it fell on the floor.

Guess who was down there? Yep, Corky, who proceeded to polish off half the roll. Then Corky proceeded to puke all over the dining room floor…and a well-traveled dining room floor at that–it was the middle point of the house, separating the family room from the restroom and the back bedrooms and could not be avoided. And now it was covered in dog barf. And poor Corky was really sick. I was really worried because he was just stumbling around and alternately laying down and trying to get back up.

My dad asked me what was wrong with the dog and I told him what had happened, fearing all the while I was in trouble. But Dad just started laughing because after hearing my explanation and noticing Corky’s movements, he just assumed the dog must have been DRUNK. And then I started laughing, and, well, everyone got in on it.

I imagine if Corky could have had a say, he wouldn’t have been any too happy with any of us right about then. He was feeling miserable.

I guess what he needed was a little “hair of the dog.”

 

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Show Date: November 23, 2013
Venue: The Centre
Address: 715 Locust St, Evansville, IN 47708
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