The sun is closer to the earth in the winter than in the summer. That statement tempts me, ever so greatly, to say "Hah! I don't believe it!" Except that it is true. But, seriously, you could have fooled me! This is ridiculous, my friends. Utterly ridiculous. I was watching a forecast recently on one of the 24-hour news channels, and its resident chief meteorologist said that the type of heat we are getting is usually reserved for tropical locations, you know, like the Equator!  That's odd, because I honestly don't remember the move!

I was just outside a little while ago, and it was just so unusually hot. Hey, I know the sun is hot. I know July is hot. But the heat was just something otherworldly, like, say, Venus. Obviously, I'm exaggerating. It is clearly NOT 410 degrees outside. But I am feeling the type of heat unlike any I can remember. Certainly, I have no idea what 410 degrees feels like and never hope to. But we are experiencing absurd amounts of heat. It's the kind of heat that will make me rethink all those big, bold statements I make in the dead of winter. I'd be a wealthy man if I had a nickel for every time I said, in the middle of January, "I wish it was hotter. I love being outside in the evenings, and you just can't do that in the winter. But you can in the summer." Retraction duely noted. This coming winter, I promise to bundle up and go outside when the sun goes down. I will never wish it was hot ever again. If anyone hears me say it, please correct me and I will give you a quarter. Seriously, how good does 40 degrees sound right now?

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