WARNING: Charlotte’s on the Cover of the New Issue of Coupon Crazy
Beware! The Bride of Chucky is coming to a mailbox near you. And by "near you" I mean the mailbox at your house. The Fall 2020 issue of Coupon Crazy is headed your way and there's someone very recognizable on the cover. Yes, it's Charlotte (a.k.a. Rosemary's Baby). Trust me when I tell you. These coupons have never been crazier. LOOK!
The front cover of the latest issue is sponsored by Lil Bit Sassy in downtown Owensboro. Honey Boo Boo has been a little spokesmodel for them for a couple of years now. And while it has taken her that time to really grow into her role as America's Next Top Child Model, Charlotte has worked very hard for her second official cover. Yes, apparently this child has a monopoly on Coupon Crazy covers. Who knew? But there's a price for this kind of fame.
Do you know many bows the size of a Jeep Wrangler she's had to rest on her delicate little head? Do you know how many photographs Angel has made her pose for since she came barreling out of the womb? I mean, if Charlotte's laying on the couch with the Cheddar the cat, Angel takes a picture. If she makes a funny face at dinner, Angel takes a picture. I'm honestly surprised this child can have a bowel movement without Angel bursting in the door with her Android to document it. And, honestly, I bet there are photos of that too. Little Honey Boo Boo squeezing out a Poo Poo. The only person that Angel photographs more than herself is Charlotte- her own little Toddler and Tiara.
Well now that the little Munchkin of Mayhem is on the cover of a magazine, I have a feeling we are never going to hear the end of this. I can see the resume being written now. Charlotte's special talents and skills- She once dropped a deuce in the driveway at the house. One day, when all three of her brothers were fighting, she spewed out a curse word her parents weren't aware she had added to her vocabulary. She brought the International Bar-B-Q Festival to a screeching halt one year when she laid down in the middle of 2nd Street and threw a Kim Jong-Un inspired temper tantrum. And, oh yeah, she models.
Her modeling career has now lifted off the runway onto the page. Thursday morning, I was handed my very own keepsake copy of Coupon Crazy. I jokingly said, "The next time I see Charlotte I am going to ask her for an autograph." Angel laughed, but I know in my heart she was having Mama Rose heart palpitations and quietly planning a stop at Walgreens to buy a Sharpie for the signing event at 2nd and Charles.
See, this my friends is the making of a monster- an adorable little She Beast with a bow on her head and the look of Drew Barrymore from Firestarter in her eyes. Let's just hope that Charlotte manages to remember all the little people who helped get her here- to the cover of Coupon Crazy. And, while we're at it, let's have a moment of group prayer for this other little girl on the cover with her.
Let's just hope that Charlotte remains friends with her cover cohort, Layla Aud. The last thing we need is for these two to grow up and serve up some sequel to the Nancy Kerrigan/Tanya Harding saga. Sure, Charlotte's smiling at Layla now. But watch your back, Layla. I know Charlotte and I know this. Honey Boo Boo means business. Don't think for a second she won't pick up a heavy object and hurl at it your bow like Naomi Campbell chucked that phone across the room at her assistant at that Beverly Hills Hotel back in the day.
Charlotte is a supermodel now. She's a cover girl. Nobody puts this baby in a corner. 'Cause with that big @%# bow on her head she won't fit in it.