10 Country Songs You Should Absolutely NOT Play on Valentine’s Day

If you're looking for a list of the The Greatest Country Love Songs of All-Time, you have come to the wrong place. Yes, Valentine's Day means love is in the air, but these songs are singing a completely different tune. This February 14th, I decided to compile a list of the 10 Country Songs You Should Absolutely NOT Play on Valentine's Day.

#10- PRAY FOR YOU (Jaron and The Long Road to Love)

You gotta love a song about a heartbroken guy who goes to church and prays that a plant pot falls off a window sill and kills his ex-girlfriend. Yes, that country song exists and here it is.

#9- THE NIGHT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA (Reba)

Speaking of untimely deaths caused by love triangles, Reba's "The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia" features a love trapezoid. The "young bride" in this song gets around faster a Fed Ex package and "little sister don't miss when she aims her gun."

#8- YOU'LL THINK OF ME (Keith Urban)

One of THE ultimate breakup songs because Keith Urban basically makes a list and sings it thrice. Take your records. Take your freedom. Take that stupid cat. Leave my sweater.

#7- I HOPE (Gabby Barrett)

Hell hath no fury like Gabby Barrett scorned. This girl can hold a grudge longer than crow (that's apparently a real bird kingdom thing). She wishes for a lot, but we can leave it at this. Gabby hopes 'she' (a.k.a. that dirty trick) comes along and wrecks every one of your plans. And, she hopes she cheats!

#6- BEFORE HE CHEATS (Carrie Underwood)

Speaking of cheating, Carrie Underwood has a message for you. Beware to a certain "bleach-blonde tramp" loving man. While you're inside the bar buying "fruity little drinks," Carrie's outside with a bat and a vendetta against your leather seats.

#5- MY GIVE A DAMN'S BUSTED (Jo Dee Messina)

Every single one of Jo Dee Messina's nerves has been grated like a fine Parmesan. Look at her! She's trying really hard to care right now. She wants to feel something for you. She's trying to dig a little deeper. No. Sorry. Nothing.

#4- I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU (Dolly Parton)

People, this is NOT a love song. It's a breakup song. She ain't staying. She's leaving! Whitney Houston is getting on that plane and leaving her The Bodyguard boyfriend behind. She wishes you joy. She wishes you lots of happiness. Gotta go. It's time for my in-flight beverage service.

#3- HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW? (Toby Keith)

We all have that someone we crushed on high school, but never got any attention reciprocated. Toby Keith's crush had "too many boyfriends to mention" and she, sadly, always overlooked him somehow. Uh, this is the musical version of paybacks are hell. You made fun of Toby when he went off to Tennessee, but look at him now! He's livin' in your radio and flipping you a melodic bird.

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#2- HERE'S A QUARTER (CALL SOMEONE WHO CARES) (Travis Tritt)

Uh, someone's been having some sordid affairs and now she's come back to beg for forgiveness. Travis Tritt has a message for that mattress with legs. "Call someone who'll listen and might give a damn."

#1- GOODBYE EARL (The Chicks)

Wanda: Hey Mary Anne! It's Wanda.

Mary Anne: Hey Wanda.

Wanda: Favor. Could you help me kill my husband?

Mary Anne: Sure thing, Sugar. Let me catch this red-eye out of Atlanta. You still got that black-eyed peas recipe?

Enough said. Bye, Earl.