It’s Okay if Easter Celebrations Don’t Look the Same for Everyone
This week everyone was talking about spending Easter with their children, grandchildren, family, friends, the Easter Bunny, Easter egg hunts, food and traveling. I don't have any of that, and it's okay. Sometimes it's about much more.
I had a tough time this week leading up to the 2021 Easter holiday season. I wasn't feeling my best, getting sleep, or just feeling like myself. I can't remember the last time that I struggled so much. After a full year of social distancing my mental health was also taking a toll. You could see the holiday on the horizon, but I was just trying to make it through the day. I don't share my health struggles with many. Just my very close family and friends. The chronic pain that I woke up with, the Crohn's flare that I suffered, and I was only averaging around 4 hours of sleep a night which made the week rough. I also started to get down on myself when I listened to everyone share their Easter plans. I've always been pretty positive about the outcome of my life, the challenges, regrets, and true blessings along the way. Hearing my family and friends talk about spending time with their children and grandchildren always makes me smile, but also a little sad inside.
It probably wasn't until I was in my thirties, and settled into married life with a stepson, that I thought about having my own child. I always had severe endometriosis pretty much all of my life, so I wasn't sure if it would be in the cards for me. So, I was so excited when I got pregnant out of the blue. I also knew that there would be great risk of it not being viable. Dr. King was very upfront about it. He recommended that I tell nobody until the baby would be developed enough to get a good heartbeat and sonogram. We made an eight week appointment and I was beyond excited, and nervous, of course. On the Sunday, before my eight week appointment, I miscarried. I lost the baby, and the pain was agonizing. Both physically and mentally. Besides Chris, I went through it alone. But, I also learned in moments like those, that I wasn't truly alone. Jesus was beside me the entire time. He had already carried me through many storms, and this wouldn't be the first or the last. With my doctor's advice, we decided that with my health issues, a hysterectomy may be something to consider when I was ready. I knew that I was ready to regain some of my health back so I made the decision soon after, and it was done.
Jesus was also with me in 2013 when our home was burglarized, we lost three of our parents, and someone ran a stop light and hit me. He never left my side through any of it. I'm also not sure what I would have done without him in 2015 when we lost our last parent, and I got very sick. I won't get into all of the hereditary autoimmune diseases that I carry, but Jesus was with me at my sickest in those dark times. I share all of this for one important reason.
I go back to this trying week when I felt pretty defeated. Yesterday, I made a plan to take control. I prayed as I always do, went to bed early and had peace in my heart. I slept eleven hours straight and woke up like a new person. The sun was shining, and I knew it would be a great day! I then looked at social media and had the biggest smile when I saw all of my friends and family posting their Easter celebrations. It filled my heart with such joy!
Now, I may be doing some much needed spring cleaning today. There's plans to cook some burgers on the grill for dinner. Chris is out working in the yard as I type this. Lucy and CoCo are sleeping at my feet. But, as I look around, I know that I'm truly blessed. My life may be totally different then my family and friends. My Easter Sunday may be unconventional, but Jesus is with me. He is always with me, and for that I'm eternally grateful.
My life may not have gone as planned, but what a blessed life that I've lead. I wouldn't change it for anything. I hope that you have an amazing Easter, and are blessed no matter how you are spending it too!
God is good.