Is It Rude to Not Answer Your Doorbell When Someone Rings It?

A friend recently posted this on Facebook and I immediately laughed.

As Taylor Swift sings, "It's me. Hi! I'm the problem, it's me." That Facebook post is ME!

I always tell my friends that if you have to ring the doorbell at my house, you weren't invited. I have an aversion to doorbells. I cannot stand when someone rings mine. Honestly, there are two simple reasons. #1- My dogs lose their minds when they hear it and the peace in my home is immediately interrupted by the ringing and the incessant barking that follows. #2- I work in radio and I "people" constantly. When I am at home, I just want to relax and be alone.

And, yes! I am that person who will pretend he's not at home if someone rings my doorbell. Plus, I have security cameras, so I can hunker down, wait and watch for the intruder to get off my porch. When the coast is clear, I will resurface.

As it turns out, I am not alone here. There was a recent Reddit thread- Not answering the door shouldn't be seen as rude- that tackled this very same issue. LowBrassBro said:

People legit will sit there and knock on my door for like 10 minutes trying to sell me something, they seem to think I have some sort of legal obligation to come answer the door. I don't care if you can see me plain as day, I'm not getting up and listening to whatever (insert astutely accurate and descriptive expletive) you're trying to push and I have literally no obligation to do so.

Yes, LowBrassBro! Preach it.

Miss Manners seems to agree that people ignoring a knock or doorbell is perfectly acceptable. She says,  "Assuming, of course, it was not in response to a previously issued invitation, and that they refrain from making their presence too obvious by glaring through the curtains."

I'll admit it. I have wondered if my disdain for the doorbell has simply come with age. I mean, I recently reached the 52 mark and may be lumbering toward 'curmudgeon' status. However, I have learned- from online conversations and sources- that it's not just my age or me. Apparently, millennials don't like the doorbell either.

Right before the pandemic, The Today Show shared an interesting story about millennials and why they find doorbells to be, well, useless. In so many ways, millennials and Generation Z are credited/accused of basically causing the death of the doorbell. According to the survey, they prefer signaling their arrival a different way. They simply prefer to text the word "Here!"

For me, that checks! If I have someone coming to my house to visit, I will insist that they "do NOT ring the doorbell." Because my dogs will have a nervous breakdown and, subsequently, cause me to have one too, I tell them just to text me when they arrive. It's easier and QUIETER!

So, how about you? When someone comes to visit you, which do YOU prefer?