Yep, the Beaver Dam, Kentucky Dude Has a MUCH Better Mullet than Mine [PHOTOS]

We just got back from visiting one of my best friends in Cleveland. During the course of a conversation the other day, the days when I had hair all the way down to the middle of my back came up.

Jeff and I have been friends for 37 years, but he only ever saw that massive mane one time, when I visited back in 1998--one year before I got completely tired of it and had it all cut off.

I guess that little discussion was an example of foreshadowing because when I returned home and checked out our website, I saw that Erin Grant had written a story about Big Scott Collard of Beaver Dam and his goal of winning the Men's Open Division of the USA Mullet Championships.

Get our free mobile app

I had no idea that was even a thing. And if was a thing back in the 90s, I certainly wish I'd known. I would have entered.

That was 1995 on a trip with friends to the Grand Canyon. I remember approaching the edge of the canyon and it was literally breathtaking. Then I let the wind blow through my shaggy locks. And yes, based on the chart I read, mine was an example of The Shag. It was not, as some have wondered (myself included), a Kentucky Waterfall. Here's another 1995 moment. My sister and I were going to see Tommy at the RiverPark Center:

And, no, nobody behind asked me to remove my hair so they could see.

Because I started letting it grow out in 1992, many friends and co-workers assumed I had been inspired by Billy Ray Cyrus, who had just exploded onto the music scene with "Achy Breaky Heart." But no. It was my friend Steve who had had really long hair when I met him and it looked great. I wanted to give it a try, but I didn't realize until it was down just past my neck that it had a massive wave when it got to that length.

I kept it anyway, for seven years.

As soon as I got it all cut off in 1999, I drove over to my parents' place to show my dad, who HATED my long hair. Although I doubt it was, it seemed to be the happiest day of his life up to that point.

He was tickled to death. And I was tickled to finally be rid of all that hair.

Business in the front, party in the back? Yeah, well it was time to get down to business and go ALL business.

Oh, and good luck, Big Scott Collard.